Themselves.
When people make an ask, they walk in eager and excited. They are focused on the win at the end. Somewhere in that excitement, the person on the other side of the request disappears. What gets left out is the value they could offer in return for the kindness they are about to receive.
I teach this in The Art of the Ask, and one of the steps in my PRO-OGRE™ framework is Reciprocate Favors. Last week gave me a fresh reminder of why that step matters.
The ask I made too late
Midwest Con is a four day gathering that came to Cincinnati. I had never heard of it before. By the time I found out, the window to serve as a speaker had closed. I made the request anyway.
The answer was maybe. If a slot opened up or a speaker did not show, they would keep me in mind. In the meantime, I could certainly serve as a volunteer.
I said yes.
Day zero
Day zero is the setup day. I arrived very early and helped the team leaders get the room ready. I made suggestions on the layout so the photography lighting would be at its best once the sessions began.
Another photographer was shooting empty chairs. As a photographer I am a storyteller, and pictures of vacant seats are not a great way to promote a program. So while the videographer taped the press conference, I captured all the leaders.
That same day we discovered the rented printing service would not connect. Registration was about to slow to a crawl. I bought and donated a set of markers to keep the line moving for the rest of the week. The MC and the speakers needed their introduction documents, so I printed those at home and offered to handle anything else they needed, since I did not live far.
During the sessions
Once the conference started, I was there with my camera, posting images to their website throughout the day.
I was also paying close attention to the room. Whenever a speaker invited questions and an attendee sat there working up the nerve to ask one, I raised my hand first. That small move encouraged others to find their courage.
Why this matters for your next ask
Every one of those contributions was small. Markers. A few printed pages. A raised hand. Together they add up to the whole art of the ask.
An ask is an invitation to a relationship. Before you send the email or make the call, decide what you are bringing with you. Show up early. Look for what is broken. Raise your hand first. Don’t be afraid to give more than you think you are getting out of it.
Four Tips Before You Make an Ask
Want a free conference entrance? Willing to volunteer? Here are some tips to elevate your gift and their event.
- Arrive early. The first hour is when organizers need the most hands and have the fewest. Being there during setup shows you came to help.
- Look for what is broken. A printer that will not connect, a missing document, a slow registration line. Fix the small problem in front of you, even when it falls outside your role.
- Offer the skill you already have. A photographer can capture the leaders. A writer can draft an introduction. Name one thing you do well and put it to work for the people you are asking.
- Raise your hand first. Silence in a room spreads, and so does courage. Asking the first question makes it easier for everyone else to speak up.
The people who receive your request will remember what you gave far longer than what you wanted.
About the Author
Leila Kubesch is a professional speaker and photographer who aims to give her clients both voice and visibility, whether she is on the stage or behind the lens. Through her speaking and photography, she helps people tell their stories, make meaningful connections and be seen.
Learn more at https://LeilaKubesch.com
Connect with Leila at https://www.linkedin.com/in/leila-kubesch/
