I learned how to make the ask from a class of eighth graders. It began on the day they mocked my lesson.
The day my students mocked the lesson
Years ago, at Tecumseh Middle School, I was teaching about Japan. Several students made faces. One shouted a remark about the atomic bombs, and three exchanged high fives. I froze.
On a trip to Japan in 1998, an elderly man had handed me a bag of gifts for my students: candy, origami paper and rice seeds. The remark in my classroom felt personal. I told the class that civilian deaths in war are nothing to gloat about.
A book, a film and a twelve foot poster
Within a week, every student had a copy of The Bracelet by Yoshiko Uchida. It tells of Japanese American families imprisoned during World War II, seen through the eyes of a seven year old girl. One student called the book elementary. I read it aloud, and the students became engaged. Soon they wanted to know how much of it was true.
Next we watched Honor Bound, a film by Wendy Hanamura. It follows the sons of Japanese immigrants who fought as American soldiers in Europe while their families were held in camps at home. Veterans of the 442nd described rescuing 211 soldiers of the Lost Battalion in France. My students watched a veteran cry. Afterward they asked why they had never learned this history.
We studied Executive Order 9066, signed in 1942. I read aloud Heroes by Ken Mochizuki. The students made artwork, poems and reports.
They also contacted Japanese American veterans, interviewed them and received photographs in return. Together they made a twelve foot poster called “An Injustice to Remember.” It hung in the courthouse on Law Day, where the students gave tours and the local news covered it.
The ask my students made of me
Then a student proposed something bigger: turn the bare school courtyard into a Zen garden to honor those veterans. The class pictured a pond with a waterfall, a fountain, koi, water lilies and stone lanterns.
Our budget was limited and I was skeptical. I honored the ask my students made.
How I guided them to make the ask
In turn, I guided them to make the ask of their community.
They began with a clear picture. The students presented the plan to the principal. A landscaping firm volunteered to help design the garden and estimate the cost in money, materials and labor.
Then they went out in person. They made a business card for the project. They attended meetings of business and service organizations, met with store managers and gave presentations. They asked local businesses for donations of money, materials and advice. They scheduled the work and tracked what came in.
The entire community rallied for this project.
When the answer was no
The students dug a six foot hole for the pond. The school’s insurance company called it unsafe and wanted it filled to a depth of twelve inches. About 24 tons of dirt had already been removed.
By then my students knew how to make the ask. They met with the insurance agent, contacted attorneys and researched building codes. They showed that the pond had steps along its sloping sides, so anyone who fell in could walk out, and that the courtyard was enclosed.
The agent’s concerns were resolved. The class kept its pond.
The garden they built
For about a year, my classroom stored wheelbarrows and tools. Students arrived before school and stayed until six or seven in the evening.
The finished garden was valued at about $18,000 in materials and labor. The students bought the stone lanterns they first imagined. A photo of the garden is on the cover of the issue.
They learned that they could solve real problems and that a dream can become a reality. The same students who had made careless jokes proved they could learn, change their thinking and produce impressive work.
I wrote about the project for Middle Level Learning, a publication of the National Council for the Social Studies. You can read the article here.
How to make the ask on your own team
How to make the ask is the skill at the center of my keynote, The Art of the Ask. Here is what my students did, in six steps you can use this week.
- Honor the ask in front of you. When someone on your team brings you an idea, hear all of it before you count the budget.
- Start with a clear picture. Describe the finished result and what it takes, so people can see where they fit.
- Ask in person. Go to the room where the decision is made and say your request out loud.
- Leave something behind. A card that names you and your goal keeps the request on the desk after you walk out.
- Ask for more than money. Someone who cannot write a check may have supplies, skill or an hour to offer.
- Treat a no as a question to answer. Find the concern behind it, do the homework and return with the answer.
A class of eighth graders made an ask of me. I honored it and guided them to make the ask of their community, and the entire community rallied.
Honor the ask in front of you. Then teach your people to make the ask.
Leila Kubesch is a keynote speaker, speaking coach, and author. Her keynote, The Art of the Ask, shows leaders and teams how to make the ask with confidence. To bring Leila to your event, write to Leila@LeilaKubesch.com.
